Happy (almost) New Year!

Ahh, the last working day of 2005.

Good show last nite. I’m so tired today and feeling crappy again. I still sound like someone has taken a lawn mower to my vocal cords, but I’m hoping that will pass soon. It has to, right? A couple of Jager shots helped soothe me through the show. It tastes enough like cough syrup, I was hoping it had some medicinal qualities. Sean the bartender never steers me wrong.

We had a nice crowd, around 30+ people. They laughed a lot. I think I had a pretty good set, considering how lousy I’ve been feeling. I don’t know how much time I did, I was just glad that they could hear me. But now my voice is even more strained and I’m feeling a lot of pain. Hey, that rhymed! I didn’t stay to see everyone as I was anxious to get home and take more meds. Damn this lingering illness! Since I get sick every year on Christmas, my friend Blair has decided that I must be allergic to Jesus. Hmm.

Many thanks to Eric Lokke, Damus Smith and Shawn Halpin for putting the show together and for asking me to be a part of it. I got the coolest poster that has all of our pictures on it! My roommate Dave was quite impressed. That one’s going in a frame. The poster, not the roommate.

No big plans for New Years. I have Monday off, yay! Evan’s teaching tomorrow, and we’re hanging with the kids for the weekend. We’re becoming quite the little family. He was up late last nite ‘bonding’ with my oldest daughter. I’m afraid to ask what that means. Hopefully it was a good thing. I was too tired to get the details at 3 AM. I’m hoping his assumption that she hates him has subsided. It’s not him, she just hates everyone, but especially anyone who gets my attention. He’s been a good sport about it all. Teenage girls are not easy to deal with, I know this. I was the same way with my mom after she and my dad divorced. No one was ever good enough for mom. And she’s still single. Yikes. But she only had one kid. I have 3 little people, and they all have opinions.

Hope everyone has a safe and happy New Year’s Eve. Don’t drink and drive. You might hit a bump and spill it. Or worse, you might get stopped. By a guard rail.

We did it!

Woo-hoo! My blog count is just over 9000 hits as of this morning. I put the counter on in June. That's a lot of reading in 6 months! You guys rock! Thanks for reading this year. I still can't believe anyone finds me that interesting.

Feeling much better today, although my voice is still not back 100%. I actually kept some food down last nite, so that's a good sign. Many thanks to Evan for taking care of me these past few days. I'm a grumpy sick person. I hope he doesn't catch this crap, but if he does, I'll be sure to return the caregiving favors.

We've got a great show tonite at the West End. I'm performing with some awesome guys - Eric Lokke, Shawn Halpin, Damus Smith, Scott Allen and Cedman. Should be a lot of fun. I'm loading up on hot tea and honey. Wish me luck, and come see the show! Starts at 8:00. Doors at 7:00. Tix are $10. Hope to see you there - but don't get too close. I can't be held responsible for the transmission of left-over germs.

Much love.

Holidays. Done.

And a late Merry Xmas to you all. If there’s one Christmas tradition I could do without, it’s being sick. I typically get the flu or some other vile bug right around the holidays, and this year was no exception. Fever and chills and coughing and all that. Feels like someone took a hammer to my chest and head. But I’m back at work today, much to my surprise. I look frightening and have no voice, so maybe people will avoid me. I can dream. My most awesome boyfriend took care of me and watched the children during my incapacitated state. He’s so freaking wonderful. He made sure I took my meds and rested, and he entertained the kids. I’m a lucky girl. I can’t think of anyone I’d rather spend all my time with.

Before the illness took me over completely, we had a nice time. The children got what they wanted, of course. I spoil, yes, because I love. My sweetie and I exchanged goodies as well – and then we opened our presents. Goo goo! Teehee! Darn I crack myself up. Nice gifts all around, I think everyone was pleased.

We made gingerbread cookies. Not your typical gingerbread cookies. These were more like accident victim, trauma ward gingerbread cookies. Evan’s twisted like that – one of his many endearing qualities. They were hideously cool. Luckily they didn’t taste like they looked! We took lots of pictures, we just haven’t decided whose site they’re going up on yet. I’ll let you know.

Hoping for the return of my voice and my sense of humor. I’ve got a show to do tomorrow nite. More Christmas tales when I'm feeling like typing again.

And the count continues...

8823. Just a little further.

Office party was a hoot. We drank my gift. It was tasty. Lots of food leftover for lunch today. I made it home safely.

I'm hosting open mic at WECT tonite. Be there.

4 days left until Christmas. Weee! I'm starting to feel a little more festive. I think the party helped pump up my Christmas spirit. Well, that and the rum.

Random on a Tuesday

Some random thoughts for you today. It’s my office Christmas party this afternoon and I’m doing very little work until then.

Do you ever feel like you’re in a competition that you just can’t win? I do. Every fucking day.

Is it possible for me to choke to death on my own cynicism? Is there a Heimlich maneuver for intangible objects?

If curiosity killed the cat, what do you think jealousy would have done to the little bastard?

Why is my hair turning so gray? I used to color it for fun. Now I have to.

Why does everything that’s good require so much work?

Why do birds suddenly appear…no wait, that’s a Carpenter’s song.

Why wasn’t I a lesbian? I get along so well with them. My ex was afraid they would ‘convert’ me. There’s a toaster oven in it for you if you can do it.

Why do I always stand in front of the wrong elevator?

Why do I continue to do nice things for people when they just shit on me?

Why do some women incorporate a baseball cap into their every-day wardrobe? Who told them this was a good look?

If you have any answers to these questions, please let me know. :)

There will be much drinking in less than an hour.

Also, I want to see 9000 hits on my blog by the end of the year. We're up to 8796 right now. Come on people, read me! You can do it!

Mondays come but once a week.

Hi blogger friends. Just coming off of an amazing and fun weekend. How was yours?

Friday was a good day. Well, the second half of it was. Evan surprised me at my office with a little gift. What a sweet man he is. I finagled tix to see Henry Cho at the Improv Friday nite. Great show, he’s very funny. I don’t ask for comedy privileges very often, but it’s nice to know they’re there when I want them. (Thanks, Justin!)

Saturday, woo, what a day. We had tickets to see the Trans-Siberian Orchestra, but Evan had to teach a class so we got to the concert late. Note to self – never send your roommate to do anything. There were two shows, an afternoon and an evening, and he bought me the wrong tickets. Oh well. It all worked out I suppose. We got to see about an hour of the show. It was really good, I’m just sorry we missed so much of it. I hope we can see them again next year. Lots of walking downtown, a quick dinner and off to see shows at the West End. First up, the Cooperation Corporation. These guys are funny. Really funny. I’m glad I could help them get a booking. Queertown was at 11, and my friend Karen was their opening act. She did a great job, I’m so proud of her! The show was good too; I especially liked their version of the 12 Days of Christmas.

My daughter has a new boyfriend. His name is Mouse. I call him Lab Rat. He’s a strange boy. Not sure if I like him yet. I’ll give him a break on the first impression, which wasn’t terribly favorable.

I haven’t been on stage in a month. I really need to get back to it. I’m doing a show on December 29th at the club (West End), along with Eric Lokke, Scott Allen, Shawn Halpin and Damus Smith. Should be a hoot. Me and 4 guys. There’s a fun Thursday nite. Open mic this Wednesday, and I don’t know what else is going on this week just yet. Script meetings before Christmas. Oh yeah, Christmas is this weekend! Wow. It just snuck up on me. I’ll be doing my shopping on Friday and Saturday as I don’t get paid until then. I’ve only bought gifts for Evan thus far, so I have a lot of last minute shopping to do. That should make for a fun weekend. Will I be stressed? I can guarantee it. Luckily my kids don’t want anything that’s impossible to obtain this year. I’ve spent many a Christmas in search of the hot yet elusive toy of the moment, in order to ensure that no small people in my house are disappointed. Then they play with it for a few days but end up more interested in the box that it came in. Ahh, parenthood. Looking forward to spending the holiday with Evan and the kids.

Have a good week y’all.

This is why I tell jokes.

Apparently, I’ve been demoted. Not in the less money sense, but in the less responsibility sense. During my complete flake-out over the last few months, my duties have slowly been, let’s say, moved elsewhere. Whereas I was in charge of projects, now I simply participate. The people in the office don’t talk to me much anymore. They never invite me to lunch. I’ve become the step-child. Now I run errands. I still do some research, some spreadsheets and website proofing, but overall my duties have basically been swapped with the previous errand runner girl. She’s being taught how to do training sessions. I’ve been sent to pick up ice cream and dry cleaning. I’m not saying she doesn’t deserve it. She works hard for these people, and me being the emotional trainwreck that I am, have not been much help as of late.

I’m not upset by this, after giving it some thought. I chalk it up to karma.

Yesterday, I didn’t call and ask my boss if she wanted something from Starbuck’s, while I was out running errands. Well, I called the office, asked if anybody wanted anything, and one person responded. When I returned with nothing for boss lady, she proceeded to run around the office and tell everyone what a bitch I am. Loudly.

Ahh, the medication must be working because I’m finding this funny in a sick and sadistic sort of way.

To make up for being so nasty, she buys you ice cream or some other treat. Like an abusive parent, that one.

My name is Luca.

Anyway, back to my errands. Today I had to go to the post office - grr – don’t even get me started on having to visit the United States Postal Service to mail something this time of year. Two clerks for 20+ people? Hello? I’m starting to feel like a real scrooge. Bah. Humbug. I also had to pick up the dry cleaning and locate an Apartment Guide. Sounds easy, right? I get the dry cleaning first. Probably not the best choice. He brings out 10 pieces. I think, ok, yeah, I can carry that. Then he brings out 10 more – all heavy sweaters. Rock on. He asks if I need any help. Nah, I can get it. Uh –huh. Yeah. I manage to carry the 100 pounds of clothing to the car without incident. Goody. Off to the post office. No parking. I hate the holidays. But all I need to do today is check the PO Box, I don’t have to stand in line. Finally get a spot. Yay. Off to a convenience store in search of an Apartment Guide. Store #1: All out. Store #2: Don’t carry them. Store #3: None left. Store# 4: Every one but that one. And finally, store #5: I give up. By now I’ve been gone a good 45 minutes from the office. I decide to head back and resume the guide search later.

I’ve been working here since August, and I still haven’t received a sticker for the parking garage, and we’re not allowed to park in the two-hour parking, even if we’re only going to be in that spot for two hours. No, I have to park on the roof. Yay. The roof. I somehow managed to gather up all of the thousand pounds of brick-like sweaters and various other items. I carry this awkward, wire hanger mess down three flights of stairs. I could feel some of them starting to slip. I stopped on the first floor to re-arrange the pieces. There. I had it. Until I got to the building’s front door. People saw me carrying this pile and none of them held the door for me. As soon as I reached for it, I dropped half the clothes. Yep, that’s right. My boss’s dry cleaning was still dry, but clean? Not so much.

A woman inside saw me cursing at the door and came over the help. Thank goodness for her. What a mess. Things had come off of hangers; plastic bags - everywhere. We finally got it basically put back together and I heaved it onto the elevator. Almost there. Just a little further. When I went to press the button – you guessed it – I dropped the sweaters. Again. Have I mentioned how heavy these fuckers were? So I’m standing there, in the elevator, holding half of my boss’s very rumpled dry cleaning, while the other half rests haphazardly on the floor of an elevator that probably sees thousands of feet every day. Eww. While I’m gathering up the pieces, the elevator makes two trips back down to the first floor. People get on. People get off. No one offers any assistance. I hate people. Finally, I deliver the dry cleaning in very near its original condition; (when I say original I mean how it was when it arrived at the cleaners in the first place), and went back to my desk. And here I sit, doing menial tasks for people I don’t like in a place I don’t want to be.

Merry effing Christmas. :)

Finally, a post.

Bloggers, fear not. Jenn is still here. Man, have I been busy! Ok, sorry for taking so long. I can’t really post during the day as my job is less than enthused with my internet obsession. Here’s what’s been happening:

Friday we attended my daughter Emily’s holiday choir concert at her school. Her group was the best of course. She had emailed a ‘formal’ invitation to Evan, insisting that he be there. He thought it would be fun if we dressed up for the occasion, so we did. He looks awesome in a suit, and I looked pretty amazing in my little black dress, if I may say so. After that, dinner out with the kids, where we all proceeded to sing along to “Hey Mickey”. The waitstaff was amused. Saturday I got all domestic. Cleaned the house, grocery shopped, made a great dinner (I make a kickass chicken fried rice), and we watched movies with the kids. Evan’s pick – Shaolin Soccer. Never seen that one before and I loved it. If you haven’t seen it, you must. The kids liked it too. Emily’s pick – The Princess Bride. Always a good one.

The script is close to being finished. We had a read-through last nite and it went well. There was a local film critic on hand who laughed at most of the appropriate spots, so I guess we did something right. A few more tweaks and we should be done, then it’s on to casting and shooting. Weee! This has been a learning experience for all of us. I can’t wait to see how it all turns out.

I was mentioned in the Dallas Morning News in the Guide section on Friday, as were my soul-sista Beth, host Johnny Elbow, and comedians Corey Sutton and Dustin Ybarra. I’ll try to upload the article later, but here’s a link: http://www.guidelive.com/feature/132/
Very nice little article, and so nice to see our names in print.

This week, work work work, more script stuff, pre-production on a short film or two, and then, the weekend! Some great shows are coming up, and dammit, we need a nite off from all this work! Friday nite we will be attending the very funny and clever Cooperation Corporation show, followed by Queertown – my friend Karen is opening the show, yay! And, as part of Evan’s Christmas gift, I got us tickets to see the Trans-Siberian Orchestra on Saturday. I am an awesome girlfriend. Oh yes.

Open mic won’t be happening this week at WECT for a couple of reasons. One, the Improv is having an open mic this week. Two, there is a going away party at the club for one of the Queertown guys. Apparently he met up with with Shirley Maclaine, she loved him, got him an agent, and he’s moving to L.A to stay with her. Best wishes and good luck to Kevin. Our friend Misty is also leaving for L.A. in a few weeks. Very exciting, I hope she does well out there.

That’s about it folks. Hope you all have a great week!

2005 Rocked. No, seriously. It did.

The end of the year is approaching. Wow. I can’t believe it’s gone by so fast. I am dubbing 2005: “best Jenn year ever”. Some great things have happened to me this year. Some bad, too, but I choose not to dwell on those. So here’s a list of reasons why this has been the Best Jenn Year Ever:

This year….

I was booked for my first gig as a comedian.

I met lots of new people and made some fabulous new friends.

I had my first (and second!) comedy audition.

My older daughter and I finally started talking to each other - instead of at each other.

I got to take my younger daughter to her very first concert, by her very favorite band. Coolest mom ever? That’s right. You know it.

My ex-husband stopped hating me. Never thought that would happen. I don’t think he likes me very much, but at least we’re civil to each other.

My first husband finally achieved peace. Yeah, he’s dead, but trust me – he’s better off.

I’ve had tons of fun with all three of my kids.

My mom made it through the year with no major hospital stays. Unlike last year.

I got cool new roommates who only annoy me on occasion. Boys.

I proved myself as a producer and organizer of comedy shows/events.

I saw my good friends grow and improve as comedians.

I met my soul-sista, the woman who is just like me, only younger, possibly cooler. (Oh, who am I kidding, of course she’s cooler. Word, B.)

I met an amazing, supportive man who makes me laugh and smile, pretty much all the time, and who my kids actually like hanging out with. Didn't see that coming.

I helped write my first script.

I ventured out of my comfort zone, comedy-wise, with great results.

I blogged my ass off. That doesn’t seem like much of an accomplishment, but the fact that I’ve been writing at least weekly for nearly an entire year is definitely something to be happy about. I’ve written several things that I’m quite proud of.

And finally – I actually earned money this year, as a performer and a producer. Not enough to live on, but it’s a start. Maybe this time next year, I’ll be doing it for a living. Comedy rocks. So do I.

Here's to a great year!