Random on a Tuesday
Some random thoughts for you today. It’s my office Christmas party this afternoon and I’m doing very little work until then.
Do you ever feel like you’re in a competition that you just can’t win? I do. Every fucking day.
Is it possible for me to choke to death on my own cynicism? Is there a Heimlich maneuver for intangible objects?
If curiosity killed the cat, what do you think jealousy would have done to the little bastard?
Why is my hair turning so gray? I used to color it for fun. Now I have to.
Why does everything that’s good require so much work?
Why do birds suddenly appear…no wait, that’s a Carpenter’s song.
Why wasn’t I a lesbian? I get along so well with them. My ex was afraid they would ‘convert’ me. There’s a toaster oven in it for you if you can do it.
Why do I always stand in front of the wrong elevator?
Why do I continue to do nice things for people when they just shit on me?
Why do some women incorporate a baseball cap into their every-day wardrobe? Who told them this was a good look?
If you have any answers to these questions, please let me know. :)
There will be much drinking in less than an hour.
Also, I want to see 9000 hits on my blog by the end of the year. We're up to 8796 right now. Come on people, read me! You can do it!
Do you ever feel like you’re in a competition that you just can’t win? I do. Every fucking day.
Is it possible for me to choke to death on my own cynicism? Is there a Heimlich maneuver for intangible objects?
If curiosity killed the cat, what do you think jealousy would have done to the little bastard?
Why is my hair turning so gray? I used to color it for fun. Now I have to.
Why does everything that’s good require so much work?
Why do birds suddenly appear…no wait, that’s a Carpenter’s song.
Why wasn’t I a lesbian? I get along so well with them. My ex was afraid they would ‘convert’ me. There’s a toaster oven in it for you if you can do it.
Why do I always stand in front of the wrong elevator?
Why do I continue to do nice things for people when they just shit on me?
Why do some women incorporate a baseball cap into their every-day wardrobe? Who told them this was a good look?
If you have any answers to these questions, please let me know. :)
There will be much drinking in less than an hour.
Also, I want to see 9000 hits on my blog by the end of the year. We're up to 8796 right now. Come on people, read me! You can do it!
posted by Jenn at
12:24 PM
7 Comments:
LOL. Thanks, Laura. :)
Paul doesn't know any Carpenter's songs? I think that's weird too. I feel like he's missing out. Perhaps I will send him a CD so that he can familiarize himself with their catalogue.
Never get too drunk at the office party. One of my very few rules in life. Luckily Evan will be here so I'm sure he'll keep an eye on me. :)
Guess what, ok I'll spare you the 20 questions,,, my co-worker gave me a gift... a cat of nine tails! Gawd, does he really want me to use it? Have a rum and coke for me.
Holy shit! I am drinking rum and coke as we speak! We did a random gift draw and I got a bottle of Parrot Bay Coconut Rum. Oh yeah. I'm sharing with the office.
Cat-o-nine tails. Hmm. What kind or relationship do you have with this co-worker????
I wonder who's gonna drive me home?
Well, he was here, but he had to teach a class. I don't think I'll have a problem getting home. We've been playing poker for the last two hours and I'm relatively sober. :)
Cat-0-nine tails = not a cocktail. Think of it more as a...um...disciplinary object. :)
Here's a real hum-dinger of a thought for you: "If a bear shits in the woods but no one is around to hear it and you're stranded on a deserted island, what is the sound of one hand clapping and will the Pope still wear a funny hat?"
That my dears, is what pot does to your brain. Ask Jenn. She knows. And for the record, at least 7594 of those readers were me. HEY! I was lonely and needed something to take my mind off of this throbbing erection!
I totally love you guys.
I'm hosting open mic tonite, I better see you chicks there.
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