Freak of the Week...or 'Weak'

White guy walks into the store, mid-30's, seems to be in a hurry.

Me: "Hi, can I help you find something?"

FOTW: "Yeah, I need some lube."

Me: "Oh, well we have a variety, let me show you what we have...over here we have the water-based formulas which are..."

FOTW, interrupting Me: "I just need it to jack off."

Me, only slightly taken aback: "Ahh, well then I would suggest this, it's specifically for that purpose."

FOTW: "I just need something small, you got a sample pack?"

Me: "Yes, yes we do." I hand him the crappy 99 cent pack and ring up this awesome sale.

FOTW: "Great. Do you have a bathroom?"

Me, sighing and rolling my eyes, "No. No we don't."