Ch ch ch ch changes....

Well, I didn't make it to the Improv last nite. I've been down with bronchitis since Friday. (And no need to tell me to quit smoking; your concern is duly noted.) I would have had at least 15 people there to see me. I hate that I had to miss it.

My douchebag ex called to see if I was going to be there. He had 'heard' that I might be, so he wanted to check before he just showed up. Oh, how very kind of him. I really wish he had no access to my life at all. Looks like I'll be giving up the remaining handful of our mutual friends, just because I can't handle the intrusion anymore. I don't care what he's doing, and I don't want him knowing what I'm doing. I'm tempted to just delete my myspace page and make this blog 'invitation only'. It still just irks the shit out of me that so many people have taken his side. I'm like, "Hello? Have you met this man?" How is it that he is the 'victim' and I'm the bitch? How is that possible?

Anywho.

I just don't care much about comedy at all anymore. It used to be so important to me, but now it's just a nuisance. For so many reasons.

Life absolutely sucks right now, but I'm leaning toward that 'everything happens for a reason' attitude.

My amazing, wonderful, talented, never-causes-trouble daughter - is pregnant. Yep. I'm gonna be a grandma. I can't say how I feel about it yet, even though I've known for a few weeks now. We found out somewhat by accident. She was complaining of abdominal pain, and it was severe enough to warrant a trip to the ER. Her dad and I were there with her, they took blood and all that stuff, and it didn't take long for that test to come back positive. After all the talking, all the 'yes, mom, I know, I will take precautions, I know about birth control...' blah, blah, blah. I thought I had drilled it into these girls' heads, but apparently they really weren't listening.

In light of this, and the fact that my rent is being raised by $110.00 as of June 1st, and the fact that I still don't have a car - Emily and I are moving to Garland so we can be closer to the rest of the family. (i.e. her dad, brother, uncles, cousins, etc.) Her dad and I are planning to cohabitate again. He's been so great these past few weeks. He's always there when I need him. He goes out of his way to help me and the kids. The man would literally do anything for me. So we're going to try the 'family' thing again and see if we can make it work.

I realize this is a lot to digest all at once. I just had to get it all out.

Oh, I forgot - I started Weight Watchers, I'm on week 4 and I've lost over 8 pounds. (11 if you go by my doctor's records.)

So, the news isn't all bad. ha.

Tuesday at the Improv

Hey folks! I made it onto 'the list' for open mic at the Improv!

Tuesday, April 22nd
Addison Improv
4980 Beltline Rd. #250
Doors open at 7:30, show starts at 8 PM
Tickets are $5.00 when you mention Promo Code 20

This one is a bringer show, so I am required to have at least 8 guests. Mention to the ticket window people that you're there to see me cuz I know they will be counting. The more people I have, the more stage time I get too, so spread the word!

Philisophical waxing hurts less than you've heard

I was hoping to contribute something substantial today, but it's just not happening.

I'm going thru some heavy personal stuff at the moment. I haven't decided if I want to write about it here or not. I'm thankful for the Zoloft, as I do believe it is the only thing keeping me together. Maybe too much so. I'm a bit numb. Everything seems so sureal. I mean, really? This is my life?

Nah. Couldn't be.

I've been angry a lot lately. Not necessarily at any one person in particular. Just...angry. One issue triggers another and before you know it, Happy Jenn has left the building. No one likes to see that. This week has been really rough. One of my co-workers asked if I was ok because I didn't sound like my normal, chipper self. Yikes. Keep it together, Jenn.

I like my job, I really do. And I'm good at it. I just expect the people around me not to suck at everything. Is that so much to ask? It amazes me that someone can do the same job for a number of years, yet still not know what the hell they're doing. I still feel like Frank Grimes.

It's important to me, as a Libra, to keep things balanced. There are usually good things that come along with the bad - for example, I asked for a raise and I got one - but often times it's easy to lose sight of the good things when they are overshadowed by the bad.

I'm just very...unbalanced right now.

I'm angry at the (ex) so-called men in my life: one coward, one criminal. I wasted far too much time on these men. I'm more angry at myself. For believing them. For loving them. I wish them luck in their future endeavors.

Ha. That made me laugh out loud.

I'm angry that teenagers, no matter how open and honest you are with them, DO NOT LISTEN TO THEIR PARENTS.

Ever.

I still look both ways before I cross the street. Who taught me that? My mom. When did I learn this? When I was 4. That's when your kids listen to you. When they're teenagers, you just sound like the teacher from the Peanuts cartoon.

That's all I've got. 'Nite.