Busy. Just busy.

I have 3 articles/reviews up on The Examiner now. Woohoo! I've made four whole dollars. Sweet. Please subscribe to me. Please. Pretty please. Thanks.

http://www.examiner.com/x-35781-Dallas-StandUp-Comedy-Examiner

I was seriously going to be less promiscuous this year. But it's only January and I've already slept with 3 people. Oops. So much for new year's resolutions.

Here's some random pics and stuff. I reviewed Jill's improv troupe and helped her with a yard sale over the weekend. I'm tired and busy and would love to give you lots of details. I will when I have more time. Love ya, mean it.

Pocket surfing

My daughter took it upon herself to rifle through the pockets of my overnight guest from the other night. He had left his jacket in the living room, and she was trying to find out who it was, since she wasn't at home when he arrived.

She found a book of matches from a strip club.
"Oh, it must be Jason."

LMAO.
Normally I would discourage my children from such things, but I actually thought it was funny.
She kept the matches, by the way. I wonder if he missed them on his trip back home?

Some links, for your enjoyment

My first article went up yesterday. Here's a link:

http://www.examiner.com/x-35781-Dallas-StandUp-Comedy-Examiner~y2010m1d12-Open-Mic-Comedy--Where-Dreams-go-to-Dieor-try-to-get-on-life-support

And another wonderful link for you....Tom Roche, one of the Brits who I had the pleasure of hanging out with before New Year's, wrote a blog about his experience with American comedy - and he mentioned me! I feel so special!

http://www.cloudcomedy.co.uk/#/tomroche/4537535888

Holy article writing, Batman!

I have officially been accepted as a contributor for the Examiner online. I'm going to be writing about local comedy, reviewing shows, that sort of thing. Very exciting!!!

www.examiner.com

Working out the details, I'll let you know when my page is up and my first article is published!

Squeeeee!!!!!!

Best. Weekend. Ever.

Happy Monday, everyone! I hope you all had a fab weekend. I know I did! Seriously, was the most fun I've had in a long time.

Friday, the awesomeness that is Jill picked me up from work and we went to dinner and an art show in Deep Ellum. Our friend Sean joined us there too. We're getting involved with this group called ArtLoveMagic, they do a lot of local art and music stuff and we're hoping to do some comedy shows with them. It was a lot of fun, and I even ran into some folks from the hippie drum circle who I hadn't seen in a year! Way cool. Met a cute boy with a mohawk. Hehe. He 'friended' me on Facebook.

Then I went out with my crazy buddy Joel afterwards and we watched an 80's cover band at this dive bar near downtown. Was a hoot. Got home at 3 AM.

Saturday was a great cleaning day early on, then I hung out with a new friend which was fun. Bill and I went to see Jim Norton at the Addison Improv, and I totally got to pull the "I'm a comic" thing and get in free. Really made me feel like a rock star. And a couple of my buddies were opening and featuring for Norton, so I felt even more important! I freaking love it. I'm kind of a big deal.

We hooked up with Joel afterwards and went back to that crazy little bar on Live Oak. Different crowd this time, more of a punk scene, which I loved. Met a very tall 25 year old boy. He's 6'7". Holy crap. It hurt my neck to look up at him so I made him sit down to chat. We all went back to my place and crashed after watching a few episodes of "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia."

Sunday Jason texted me out of the blue that he was in town again, so he came over and we had a fun evening. He stayed over and drove me to work this morning. Emily saw his coat in the living room and told me this morning, "They're not supposed to stay over, mom!" Haha. They usually don't. But I told her it was 'just Jason'. She knows him, so it was sortof ok.

Back to work today. Tired but happy. May hit Dyer Street open mic tonite.

Funny things mis-read

I was walking down the street a few weeks ago, and I saw a scrolling sign above me that said:

"JOIN THEY"

Hmm. Who is 'they', exactly? And why would I want to join them? Are 'they' a crazy, fanatical relgious cult that will make me wear Nikes and sweatpants and drink poison punch? Or perhaps 'they' are a street gang who want to initiate me in the worst and most intimate of ways? What the hell is "THEY"?

Then I realized it said, "JOIN THE Y" - as in the YMCA.

A sign on the side of the road:

"Horse for sale; worth $150, 000, selling for $85,000. Needs repairs."

Well that must be one exeptionally awesome horse! Perhaps a relative of Mr. Ed? Could there be a talking horse? And what kind of repairs, exactly, would a horse require?

The sign actually said HOUSE for sale.
But it was way funnier when I thought it said 'horse'.

I wish I could write songs

This is, in my opinion, the most brilliant song written by Alanis Morrissette. I love it. It says so much to me. It IS me. Sort-of. Emphasis added is mine, of course.

"Not the Doctor"

I don't want to be the filler if the void is solely yours
I don't want to be your glass of single malt whiskey
Hidden in the bottom drawer
I don't want to be a bandage if the wound is not mine
Lend me some fresh air

I don't want to be adored for what I merely represent to you
I don't want to be your babysitter
You're a very big boy now
I don't want to be your mother
I didn't carry you in my womb for nine months
Show me the back door

Visiting hours are 9 to 5 and if I show up at 10 past 6
Well I already know that you'd find some way to sneak me in and oh
Mind the empty bottle with the holes along the bottom
You see it's too much to ask for and I am not the doctor

I don't want to be the sweeper of the egg shells that you walk upon
And I don't want to be your other half, I believe that 1 and 1 make 2
I don't want to be your food or the light from the fridge on your face
At midnight, hey
What are you hungry for
I don't want to be the glue that holds your pieces together
I don't want to be your idol
See this pedestal is high and I'm afraid of heights
I don't want to be lived through
A vicarious occasion
Please open the window

Visiting hours are 9 to 5 and if I show up at 10 past 6
Well I already know that you'd find some way to sneak me in and oh
Mind the empty bottle with the holes along the bottom
You see it's too much to ask for and I am not the doctor

I don't want to live on someday when my motto is last week
I don't want to be responsible for your fractured heart
And it's wounded beat
I don't want to be a substitute for the smoke you've been inhaling
What do you thank me
What do you thank me for

Visiting hours are 9 to 5 and if I show up at 10 past 6
Well I already know that you'd find some way to sneak me in and oh
Mind the empty bottle with the holes along the bottom
You see it's too much to ask for and I am not the doctor

Brand new year, same old stuff

Well, not really.

Good morning and Happy New Year, blog groupies! I have to say, 2009 was a pretty good year, so I have high hopes for twenty-ten. What happened in '09 in Jenn World:

Heart breaks: 5 (but only 2 were harsh)

Relationships ruined and blamed on me: 3

Road trips: 2

Guys who say they don't want to see me anymore but keep coming back anyway: 3

And of those who keep coming back, the ones I actually want to see: 1

Comedy shows: Many, and all were good but one.

In spite of my current physical issues, I've had some fun over the last week. Last Wednesday some Brit friends who were in town for a wedding came to see my at Hyena's. Also, my New Zealand guy who I hadn't talked to in almost a year came out and watched as well. I had a good set and I was thrilled that I had so many awesome people there to cheer me on! It does get old performing in front of comedians week after week.

The Brits commented to me about how misogynistic and sexist the comics here in Dallas are on stage. And all this time I thought it was just me thinking that they were all assholes. Nah. It's true, they really are. That's one of the reasons I keep waffling about quitting comedy. It's hard to do it in this town and be taken seriously - ha, that's funny, a comedian wants to be taken seriously - but you know what I mean. But it was very helpful for me to hear from other people what I've thought all along.

Over the weekend I got to hang out with Bron from England and my buddy Jill, and we had a blast. We went roller skating, ate Sprinkle's cupcakes and vegetarian food, and went to some funky little vintage resale shops. So much fun!

My favorite boy is back. I knew he would be. And neither of us were really surprised that I didn't stick to my guns and say no to him. He's still my favorite, and after my one whole day of being sad about him getting a 'real' girlfriend, I'm ok again with our 'relationship' the way it is. She decided to put him in the 'friend zone'. I'm a little sad for him, honestly. I was hoping this would work out for him. But I'm happy to have him back for a bit. I told him that at some point, he must get out of his comfort zone, and I will have to let him go for real. But for now, we'll both take the comfort. No harm in that. I am quite fond of him, even though we both know it's all still temporary. And I still believe fully that he will find the right girl and have a great life. I just hope he finds someone half as cool as me. That'll be hard to do. I am pretty awesome. What a lucky guy he is to have me around. :)

My quote for this year is thus: “Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.” (This goes for both of us, in case you're reading this.)

I'm going in for ultrasound and testing next week to determine whether or not I need surgery. Cross your fingers for me.

Hope you all are doing well and having a good New Year so far. :)