Arrr

For some reason, this made me giggle. Story here

"We didn't dispute over a single thing, let alone have a shootout," pirate spokesman Sugule Ali told The Associated Press by satellite telephone Tuesday.

I didn't know pirates had spokesman. That's kinda cool.

Mommy Dearest

Hey, mom. It's me.
Your bitch of a daughter. Remember me?

I'm sorry I haven't called lately, so let's catch up. My friend died - I know, what a lame excuse for not wanting to talk on the phone! My bad. I'm back at work, my days are long and busy, I'm tired, comedy is great, the kids are fine, and I'm still single.

I know I'm a completly inconsiderate person because instead of calling you in my very limited free time, I do something meaningless, like clean my house or pay my bills or help out a friend. God knows you're a better person than me, your only child. Haha, isn't it funny that I still refer to myself as an 'only child' when you actually have three others that you haven't contacted in 40 something years? Hilarious!

My apologies for being such a shit, mom. You're right, as always.

Love,
jenn

p.s. You should be aware that when you say shitty things about me to my daughters, they WILL tell me.

The Little Black Dress

I retired my little black dress today.
It served me well.
For many years.
It attended a lovely Christmas party
at a fancy hotel.
It went to my first comedy competition.
It took a boyfriend out for a birthday dinner.
It worked concessions at the inaugural LOC show.
That dress was a part of the happiest moment in my life -
my first paying gig;
And the saddest -
the funeral of my very good friend.
I folded it neatly and tucked it away,
with the handkerchief I used when I said goodbye.
It served me well.
It's too big for me now anyway.

Goodbye, friend.

My dear friend Josh died. He was killed in a car accident and passed away in the early morning hours of Septembr 7th.

I met Josh at an improv class a few years ago and I instantly fell in love with him. He was so funny, so spontaneous, and so unafraid. Josh was an inspiration to me. He always pushed me when it came to comedy. I wouldn't have even gone up at the last open mic we went to together if it weren't for him demanding that I perform.

We went to Houston together for Last Comic Standing auditions. We slept on the sidewalk and had fun meeting and talking to other comedians from all over. It was a wonderful road trip. He was also my own personal hair stylist. :) That's what he did for a living, and he was damn good at it. My new short do is his work.

I last saw him on Labor Day weekend. He came and spent the day with me and some friends. This picture is the last one we took together.

I was honored that his girlfriend, Paige, mentioned me when she spoke at the service. He had a wonderful family and was loved by many people.

My ex actually accused me of having a fling with Josh, because we spent so much time together. My response? "Um, yeah, I know I can do better than you, dear, but look at him! He's beautiful! We're just friends."

I wanted to write something eloquent and lovely, but I'm just so sad I don't think I can really put together in words how I felt about him. I miss him. A lot. But I'm thankful that I got to say goodbye, that we never had an argument, and that I got to know him.

Everyone grieves in their own way. The last several days were filled with my own grieving, which involved alcohol, xanax, a lot of crying, a lot of laughing, and a 25 year old boy who has the most beautiful green eyes I've ever seen.

Goodbye, Josh. Keep 'em laughing, sweetie. I love you.

Randomness...

Yesterday I had German Chocolate Cake coffee with French Vanilla cream. The coffee took over and the cream surrendered.

Had a wonderful workshop last nite. I am really happy to part of the troupe. I feel a little less intimidated every week!

It was 67 degrees when I left home this morning.
67. Degrees. Outside.
It’s a beautiful day.

When I was walking to the train this morning, a nice old man stopped and asked if I needed a ride. I accepted, but only after carefully contemplating whether or not he looked strong enough to chop me up into little pieces. He didn’t, so I’m at work in one piece.

Right now, I’m having a cappuccino that’s so good, it brought tears to my eyes. For reals.

A beautiful day.

David Duchovny, why don't you love me?

Cuz he's been busy loving everyone else....

http://www.okmagazine.com/news/view/8744

I knew he was a freak. I'm just sorry we didn't meet before he went to rehab. :(