I was sitting on my porch, enjoying the breeze. There was a man pacing back and forth in the parking lot with no shoes on, talking on a cell phone in a foreign language. Hindi, maybe? I wasn't listening that closely. He didn't know I was there. As long as I'm sitting down, no one can see me behind the fence. He may have heard the click of my lighter as I lit up another cigarette. Maybe that's why he walked away.

I sat there thinking about the conversation I had with my ex earlier this evening. He called. We talked for over an hour, without animosity, without anger or vicious jabs. It was, dare I say, not unpleasant. I kept waiting for things to take a u-turn and end up badly, but that never happened. It made me feel like I have come a long way. I got over it. I moved on. And so did he.

It's too bad we brought out the very worst in each other. But it's better this way.

Having a civil conversation with him brought to mind a good memory of our relationship. My favorite one, actually. It was the night I won the Gong Show at Ben's Halfyard House back in July of 2005. He was there - he got there late and missed my set, but was there when they announced me as the winner. I was so excited. Men were coming at me with propositions of various deviancies, but I went home with the one who came there just to see me. We swam naked in the pool. We made love. He made me feel so special, and I was glad he was there to share a memorable moment in my life. When we slept, he held me in his arms all night and wouldn't let go. It was a perfect evening.

Is it any wonder I thought that I meant something to him that night?
Unfortunately, everything started going down hill just a few days after that. But that one night was worth remembering. And being able to acknowledge that there were good times is so much better for the soul than focusing on the bad.