It's beginning to look a lot like Stupid.

I suppose that's why I'm a comedian. I can usually find funny where there is none, or at least, where there shouldn't be any.

Highlights of this week before Xmas....

* Remember last month, I told you about my friend whose wife said I was 'dead' to him? Well now she has my email address and is sending me some lovely messages. Ahh, a little jealousy and hatred, just in time for the holidays! She's still under the ridiculous impression that I want to steal her husband. Trust me, I don't. I've had a couple, didn't like them much. Why would I want another used one?

* My ex, the King of the Douches, did have a girlfriend. (Funny, I asked him about it and he lied to me and told me he was referring to his new cat. I don't think that man will ever be able to tell anyone the truth about anything. OMG what a fucking moron.) But, the girlfriend, not the cat, dumped him recently, and apparently it was because of - ME.

Are you fucking serious? ME?

Who knew I was such a homewrecker? Especially without having to date or have sex with either of these men. My skills are way madder than ever!

Oh I'm so fucking over all of this.

*Last nite, "I'll let you suck it" called. He never calls just to chit-chat, he calls either 1) To tell me that he's coming to town, or 2) to tell me that he's in town. So, he was in town. He kept hinting around about being bored and having nothing to do, blah blah blah, apparently awaiting an invitation. But I'm so full up on grumpyness and bahhumbugdom that I wasn't in the mood to 'hang out' with him. So he finally asked if he could come over. I sighed and said, "Yeah, but I don't feel like shaving my legs."

That was fine, he said, as he had been masturbating so much that he wasn't quite sure he'd be able to get it up anyway.

TMI.

So we watched a DVD and kept our clothes on. A good decision all the way around.

Merry fucking Christmas, y'all. I'm done. I'm over it. 2010 is gonna rock for me, I just know it.