"Gaslighting"
Main Entry: gaslight
Part of Speech: v
Definition: To manipulate someone into questioning their own sanity; to subtly drive someone crazy.
Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse. It uses persistent denials of fact which, as they build up over time, make the victim progressively anxious, confused, and unable to trust his or her own memory and perception. (Definition: Wikipedia)
http://users.aol.com/Relationshop/Definitions/gaslighting.html
A common form of brainwashing in which an abuser tries to falsely convince the victim that the victim is defective, for any purpose whatsoever, such as making the victim more pliable and easily controlled, or making the victim more emotional and therefore more needy and dependent. {You're reading "Definition of Gaslighting" by J. E. Brown.}
Example 1: If an abusive person says hurtful things and makes you cry, and then, instead of and taking responsibility, starts recommending treatments for what he or she calls "your depression" or "your mood swings," you are in the presence of a gaslighter.
Example 2: If someone insults you or criticizes you, and then pretends it was a joke and asks "Don't you have a sense of humor?", that's gaslighting.
Perception blaming is a common form of gaslighting, and a common technique for evading the consequences of one's actions. Example: "I'm sorry you perceived my words that way; it wasn't my intention." Translation: "You are perceptually defective. Everyone else in the world can read my mind; if you can't, there must be something wrong with you. Or so I'd like you to believe." Unspoken Message: "My intention should change your actions (even though it didn't change mine)."
This presupposes the reasoning "Most people are judged for their actions; but *I* want to be judged for my unseen intentions."
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If you have anyone in your life who does this to you, do yourself a favor and get away from them. This is a twisted and sad pathology. I've lived with it for over 2 years now, and it only gets worse.
Main Entry: gaslight
Part of Speech: v
Definition: To manipulate someone into questioning their own sanity; to subtly drive someone crazy.
Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse. It uses persistent denials of fact which, as they build up over time, make the victim progressively anxious, confused, and unable to trust his or her own memory and perception. (Definition: Wikipedia)
http://users.aol.com/Relationshop/Definitions/gaslighting.html
A common form of brainwashing in which an abuser tries to falsely convince the victim that the victim is defective, for any purpose whatsoever, such as making the victim more pliable and easily controlled, or making the victim more emotional and therefore more needy and dependent. {You're reading "Definition of Gaslighting" by J. E. Brown.}
Example 1: If an abusive person says hurtful things and makes you cry, and then, instead of and taking responsibility, starts recommending treatments for what he or she calls "your depression" or "your mood swings," you are in the presence of a gaslighter.
Example 2: If someone insults you or criticizes you, and then pretends it was a joke and asks "Don't you have a sense of humor?", that's gaslighting.
Perception blaming is a common form of gaslighting, and a common technique for evading the consequences of one's actions. Example: "I'm sorry you perceived my words that way; it wasn't my intention." Translation: "You are perceptually defective. Everyone else in the world can read my mind; if you can't, there must be something wrong with you. Or so I'd like you to believe." Unspoken Message: "My intention should change your actions (even though it didn't change mine)."
This presupposes the reasoning "Most people are judged for their actions; but *I* want to be judged for my unseen intentions."
************************************************************************************************************************************************************************
If you have anyone in your life who does this to you, do yourself a favor and get away from them. This is a twisted and sad pathology. I've lived with it for over 2 years now, and it only gets worse.
posted by Jenn at
6:16 AM
4 Comments:
you know what's bad? I know I do this to people... it's not concious... but reading that has made me want to fix that part of me even more.
And you are right again - get away from it!
I'm sure lots of people do it, not intending to. However, we've gone way beyond that. He will flat out deny that something is what it is, even when it's right there. Example:
"Why do you have profiles on dating sites?"
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"Well why don't you log into your computer and see what I'm talking about?"
"I don't feel like it right now."
"When do you think you might feel like it?"
"Not now."
"I just want to know why you did it."
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"But I saw it."
"You don't know what you saw."
"But...but...it's right there! See?"
"Wasn't me."
It's exhausting, really. But I'm glad to know that I'm not crazy. :)
definately!
what a dick
Dear Jenn,
It's always rewarding to see so many people who are interested in relationship education :^)
We're moving our website. The article you quoted may now be found at:
http://jebrown.us/Relationshop/Definitions/gaslighting.html
Thank you for your interest in our content.
Sincerely,
J. E. Brown (mr.)
relationship activist
Relationshop
Materials for Good Relationships
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