Freak of the Week

I was working at my regular store on Sunday nite and things were going really well. My sales were awesome and the majority of the customers were awesome.

Yeah, the majority.

As I was finishing up a sale with a lady, this guy comes in. I acknowledged him within a few seconds (15 seconds is the rule you see), and told him I'd be with him in a moment. He headed over to the 'inflatable love doll' section. (Why do they all look so surprised? I digress.)

So I walked over to him when I was done with the other customer and asked if he needed assistance. He started asking me how the blow-up girls are, and as I was going thru the various prices, I looked down.

I never should have looked down.

This man, this gross, disgusting man, had his johnson in his hand and was going to town.

Yes, he was masturbating in my store, right in front of me.

Oh. My. God. I am rarely speechless, we all know this. But for the life of me, at that moment, I couldn't think of anything to say! I got my bearings asked him to leave the store, which he did, without an argument. But I was a bit rattled, that's for sure.

And you know, it's never the hot guy who wants to show you his junk in public. Oh, no. It's the homeless crackhead with a speech impediment.

Maybe if he'd been cute, I wouldn't have been so offended.