Laws are funny

So I work at an 'adult novelty' store. That's what I'm required by law to say. But actually, I sell sex toys. That's what you're there for. I know it, you know it. It's all good! But we can't call them what they are, we have to refer to them by these made-up names. For example, we don't sell cock rings, we sell 'soap dishes'. And we absolutely do not sell vibrators, but we do sell 'personal massagers.'

And we don't sell dildos. No. We sell cake toppers.
Yes, cake toppers.
What?
If you ask me, that would be a waste of perfectly good cake. If you put a 16 inch double dong on the top of my cake, it would take me at least 20 minutes just to lick off the icing!