Ode to Chivalry
Today, we mourn the loss of Chivalry, a kind and gentle fellow who had nothing but the best of intentions. He was loved by the ladies, yet regarded as a nuisance by many men.
It was not unusual to see him offering kind gestures, such as opening doors, pulling out chairs, or giving up his seat, to ladies and old folks alike. Not because he felt they were weaker, but as a show of respect. He really just wanted to be nice. His actions would put a smile on the face of those who came in contact with him.
On very cold or dreary mornings, you could find him scraping the ice off of his best girl’s vehicle, warming it up for her before she had to leave. He was a wonderful and diligent protector, always steering others away from danger.
He is survived by random acts of kindness, occasionally displayed in public places; and by his very distant cousins, Laziness and Indifference, whom he never much associated with during his life.
He will be missed.
It was not unusual to see him offering kind gestures, such as opening doors, pulling out chairs, or giving up his seat, to ladies and old folks alike. Not because he felt they were weaker, but as a show of respect. He really just wanted to be nice. His actions would put a smile on the face of those who came in contact with him.
On very cold or dreary mornings, you could find him scraping the ice off of his best girl’s vehicle, warming it up for her before she had to leave. He was a wonderful and diligent protector, always steering others away from danger.
He is survived by random acts of kindness, occasionally displayed in public places; and by his very distant cousins, Laziness and Indifference, whom he never much associated with during his life.
He will be missed.
(The preceding is intended as a parody; if you are offended by it in any way, perhaps you are a douche. And probably a man. )
posted by Jenn at
1:30 PM
6 Comments:
Yeah, I'm a man douche. That's exactly what I was thinking. Can't argue with logic like that. There's absolutely no way a woman wouldn't deserve all of that attention. Especially when she's a bitch that doesn't put out. Yeah....man douche. That's me.
Get a router.
Don't you listen to Leykis? I don't but I'm pretty smart cause I'm old. You women only spread your legs for bad boys that don't spend any money on you. Start putting out for the door man and this will change overnight.
I can honestly say I've never dated anyone for money, my current partner included.
Who can afford to live somewhere with a door man? Do they even have those in Dallas?
What's Chiv-al-ry? Is that like, what happens when you're cold? I've heard that word before...
That's exactly what I just wrote. There are no doormen because doormen don't get any.
No chivalry is the guys that come save you when you are held up in a fort fighting off the mexican army.
Man Douche has spoken.
Well, the next time I'm in a fort fighting off a Mexican army, I expect to see you there Tom.
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