Blog Wars and shitty open mics
Hey y'all. Good morning and stuff.
That was quite a robust discussion yesterday, eh? But overall, I love that you guys, ALL of you, read my stuff, and I also love when you make comments, so keep doing it!
Maybe I should write 'The Rules for Booty Calls'. At least that's something I know and understand. Hmm. More on this later.
I'm trying to get back my comedy nerve, so I've gone to the Hyena's open mic for the last two Wednesdays. I haven't gotten onstage, I just went to hang out and gauge my comfort level.
Last nite was a classic example of how NOT TO RUN AN OPEN MIC. So let's start with those rules:
*DO NOT start the thing after 9 Pm on a weeknite. Most of us have jobs to go to the next morning. (Yes, I said 'most'. Myself, for example. And my buddy Ross, who has to get up at 4 AM for work. Crazy!)
*DO NOT make the first two hours a headliner extravaganza! 10 comics (local pros and headliners) took up the entire open mic for nearly two hours, leaving the rest of us to beg for 3 minutes while we watched as the audience filed out and went home. By 11:15 I had already decided NOT to even try.
It's not fair to give those guys as much time as they want, and leave the rest of us to fight over the remaining 30 minutes of the nite. Seriously. I've been doing this long enough that I shouldn't even be limited to three minutes - especially seeing as how the guy running it doesn't know what he's doing. That shouldn't be my problem, or anyone else's for that matter.
If you have 30 or more comics show up to participate at an open mic, then you do what you can to make sure everyone gets a few minutes. At 2.5 hours, EVERYONE can have 5 minutes. But if you give 2 hours to 10 people...well, you do the math. It doesn't compute.
*If you see there's someone who shows up, every week, to every open mic, is always on time, or BRINGS PEOPLE, etc., then give that person a better fucking spot. Seriously. Case in point: There was a first-timer there last nite who brought at least 5 people. And when did he get to go up? Dead last. It would have been a better move to put him up in the first 15 or so.
OH my god it's so frustrating...
Also: It's a fucking OPEN MIC. It's a venue for EVERYONE - not just headliners and pros - to work out new material. I understand wanting to make it a good show, but that doesn't mean putting all the pros up first! You mix it up. A pro, a new guy, a couple of pros, an opener, a couple of newer people, a feature, etc. You alternate so that the audience doesn't expect every single person after the first 10 they've seen to be a professional who's gonna kill! Fucking ridiculous.
And as a club manager, don't you want the audience to stay and drink for the entire evening? If you put only your best people up first, the audience is gonna leave when those sets are done. It's exhausting to sit thru, to be honest. But if you alternate the line-up, and put some of the 'pros' closer to the end, you at least ensure that those people who came to see a specific comic are going to stay for more of the show.
That's my rant for the day. Maybe I'll actually do my 3 minutes next week. At least I got to see my Italian boy. The hi-lite of the evening, fo sho, even if he did cut off all of his beautiful hair. Sigh. Why don't they consult me on these things?
That was quite a robust discussion yesterday, eh? But overall, I love that you guys, ALL of you, read my stuff, and I also love when you make comments, so keep doing it!
Maybe I should write 'The Rules for Booty Calls'. At least that's something I know and understand. Hmm. More on this later.
I'm trying to get back my comedy nerve, so I've gone to the Hyena's open mic for the last two Wednesdays. I haven't gotten onstage, I just went to hang out and gauge my comfort level.
Last nite was a classic example of how NOT TO RUN AN OPEN MIC. So let's start with those rules:
*DO NOT start the thing after 9 Pm on a weeknite. Most of us have jobs to go to the next morning. (Yes, I said 'most'. Myself, for example. And my buddy Ross, who has to get up at 4 AM for work. Crazy!)
*DO NOT make the first two hours a headliner extravaganza! 10 comics (local pros and headliners) took up the entire open mic for nearly two hours, leaving the rest of us to beg for 3 minutes while we watched as the audience filed out and went home. By 11:15 I had already decided NOT to even try.
It's not fair to give those guys as much time as they want, and leave the rest of us to fight over the remaining 30 minutes of the nite. Seriously. I've been doing this long enough that I shouldn't even be limited to three minutes - especially seeing as how the guy running it doesn't know what he's doing. That shouldn't be my problem, or anyone else's for that matter.
If you have 30 or more comics show up to participate at an open mic, then you do what you can to make sure everyone gets a few minutes. At 2.5 hours, EVERYONE can have 5 minutes. But if you give 2 hours to 10 people...well, you do the math. It doesn't compute.
*If you see there's someone who shows up, every week, to every open mic, is always on time, or BRINGS PEOPLE, etc., then give that person a better fucking spot. Seriously. Case in point: There was a first-timer there last nite who brought at least 5 people. And when did he get to go up? Dead last. It would have been a better move to put him up in the first 15 or so.
OH my god it's so frustrating...
Also: It's a fucking OPEN MIC. It's a venue for EVERYONE - not just headliners and pros - to work out new material. I understand wanting to make it a good show, but that doesn't mean putting all the pros up first! You mix it up. A pro, a new guy, a couple of pros, an opener, a couple of newer people, a feature, etc. You alternate so that the audience doesn't expect every single person after the first 10 they've seen to be a professional who's gonna kill! Fucking ridiculous.
And as a club manager, don't you want the audience to stay and drink for the entire evening? If you put only your best people up first, the audience is gonna leave when those sets are done. It's exhausting to sit thru, to be honest. But if you alternate the line-up, and put some of the 'pros' closer to the end, you at least ensure that those people who came to see a specific comic are going to stay for more of the show.
That's my rant for the day. Maybe I'll actually do my 3 minutes next week. At least I got to see my Italian boy. The hi-lite of the evening, fo sho, even if he did cut off all of his beautiful hair. Sigh. Why don't they consult me on these things?
posted by Jenn at
8:25 AM
7 Comments:
Oops, My comment to Jill was more intended to mean I can't believe that anyone actually buys into that crap. My apologies to Jill. I'm sure she's just fine however you cannot possibly believe that making yourself something that you are not is the way to hapiness. Someday you're going to want to be yourself and that's going to throw the whole thing off.
I am the exact guy that you are speaking of and I like a woman to be herself. It is the imperfections that make her perfect. I do not want a woan to play games with me. If she doesn't want to talk to me over ten minutes or have back to back dates then I assume she's just not that into me.
I'm mid 40s, work for a bank, have several homes, drive nice cars, have an awesome education and am considered very nice looking. I do lots of sit ups and have good abs too. I am telling you that this is not what single middle class guys want. None of the guys I work with or hang with go for this crap either.
The first thing we look at is "Ooh Shiny!" You have to look good which means start wearing dresses and heels then we want you to have an awesome personality which you already have. Hey, I dress nice, I expect a woman to do the same.
Rene' spoke to me well over ten minutes at a time. There's a new girl I'm kinda hot for now and she talks to me a lot and we see each other several times a week. She has "Would you believe!!!" an awesome personality and looks damn good in heels. Holy cow! Would you look at that! Yup, I obvilosly would have no clue what a guy with a job and a future would want in a woman.
Seriously Jenn, You have the personality. Dress up and see if you can snag a car that looks like you are doing okay. Guys that have a few bucks want a woman to be self sufficient, sexy and confident. That's what turns us on; and yes, I like it when a woman reaches for the check and sometimes it's really cool for her to pay.
If anyone has a problem with that I'm very easy to find and verify who I am and how I live. Yes, I am the expert on what guys like me want and it's definitely not
"THE RULES" HA!....what a stupid book.
Open mic is a frustrating thing. I'm surprised that you aren't one of the ones taking a hot spot. You are damned funny and have obviously been dependable on gigs.
Being a hack, I used to show up just for fun. You have to treat it that way. Open mic is for the club owners to identify new talent. They call the shots. I see the argument to put up someone that brings in people however those people are not always that funny. Open mic is what it is and that's why it's not held on weekends when paying customers want to laugh.
That's just an opinion, I'm not an expert on open mics. You need to start your own comedy cub.
Your apology was basically not an apology. It was more of a 'i'm sorry you believe something so stupid.' Not an apology, so really, no need to bother. Jill is too smart and too amazing to be baited into an argument with someone who doesn't even know her. And she fucking rocks. Period.
I do dress nice. Since you don't see me in my everyday life, you wouldn't really know that. I'm one of those chicks who never leaves the house without make-up, my hair done, etc. Always. It's all part of the package.
I will NEVER pay for a date. Never. Seriously. Maybe if we've been dating for a while, or we're in a 'relationship', I'll contribute, or even buy the groceries to make dinner! But I've had enough guys pull the 'oh, I forgot my wallet' bullshit on me that it's perfectly ok and acceptable for me to refuse. Especially on the first few dates. It's ridiculous. And that doesn't make me any less self-sufficient or confident. It makes me wary of men who want to take advantage of my kindness.
AND WE SHALL TALK ABOUT THIS NO MORE.
On to the open mic - it's impossible to find new talent if your open mic is two hours of nothing but headliners. And I still think the people who bring the audience deserve to go up before midnite. Maybe they will suck, but their friends may come back to see other comics, or maybe they'll even come every week to support their friend. How will we ever know if they're funny if they only get to perform in front of a bunch of drunk asshole comics?
There's a lot of talent out there, and it's hard to gauge someone's talent based on response from comedians. They are not the kindest critics. But if you get that person in front of a real audience, the difference can be amazing. Performing for nothing but comics really stomps on your confidence.
I don't want to open a comedy club. The person running the club is usually not the person performing at other clubs. I should run an open mic somewhere though. I did it for several years and got really tired of it. But I would run it different than most. Headliners go at the end. You wanna be a headliner? Then you get a 'headliner' spot at open mic too. I won't bow to the egos of the local pros. I've known them too long to be wooed by them.
Wow, I never figured you for that type of person. I do not know Jill and genuinely did not itend to offend her. I don't think it's a bad thing to have an opinion and agree to disagree. Not allowing a person the make an apology or clarification is kind of scary. If I make a joke about your Mom; I don't really know your Mom.
I talk about things. If we're going to a censored forum you're going to have to ban me as I kind of do my own thing. I'm telling you it's okay to like someone and show it.
As far as dress code, that's an opinion based subject but I think we can agree there is a reason people wear nicer things to job interviews. Please do not take my comment as a slam on your wardrobe. The question was posed and I answered honestly. The few times I have seen you and the pics you post never show you dressed in what I consider dating attire. Again, my apologies if you normally wear dresses and frilly stuff. I guess I hadn't caught that part of you.
Yeah, I reiterate that I'm not an expert on open mics. I did play professionally in a band for almost ten years. I miss the stage is why I decided to be a hack. I can only compare open mic to being in a garage band. The reason we didn't make it after ten years was because we didn't have what it takes. We loved our music but honestly; I listen to our music now and we just weren't that great. I had a Hell of a lot of fun though and will not need to have a mid life crisis so it was worth it. I'm going to have to stand behind my opinion that if you are in the position of owning an established club that turns a profit, you did not get there by being stupid. There's a reason why "Chivas Narves" rarely headlined. We were mediocre. There's a reason why I'll never make it past an open mic. My comedy is only funny to me and that's all I care about. That and I suck as a comic. HA!
The Great Doofleboy has spoken.
nobody really cares.....HA!
I'm not sure what you mean by me being 'that type of person'. It's not that I'm not 'allowing you' for fuck's sake, to apologize. You apologized, in your way, and I called it as I saw it - a back handed apology.
But why would anyone want to 'agree to disagree' with someone who just called them a fucking idiot? And no, you don't know my mom, but if you called her a fucking idiot, I'd be just as irritated.
No one's being censored. Jesus. If I wanted to censor you, your comments would have been deleted, without discussion.
I'm not even going to comment on the whole 'date attire' thing. And seeing as how I get hit on pretty much daily, it's apparent that I'm not sporting sweat pants, t-shirts and a ponytail when I leave the house.
I'm done now.
You're actually put off by a comment on a BLOG? That surprises me. I had always figured that as a comic, working the crowd was part of who you were. From here on I'll know to curb the heckling. It is not my intention to piss you off. I enjoy opposing thought. I'll keep my opinions to tombotts.com
By the way; the new tombotts "Doofleboy" T-shirts will be on sale there when the new format starts 01/01/10. We kind of stumbled when the girlfriend died.
Shameless Baby! SHAMELESS!!
If it were just a comment on a random blog, I wouldn't care. But this is MY blog, this is MY life, and I think I'm allowed to react to something I don't agree with.
Being a comic doesn't mean that I enjoy my life being a roast 24/7, which is how the comics treat me. I'm still a girl. I have emotions and all that shit, so yeah, sometimes things get to me. Comedy Jenn and Real Life Jenn are two very different people. My blog is less my comedy persona and more my real life. That's why I write things here that I would never say to any of the comics. And they don't read this.
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