The thing about the bass player...
I’m trying desperately to understand why I can’t seem to get this guy out of my head. Let’s recap the whole thing, from the beginning.
June 7th – we met for the first time that Sunday, briefly, when he arrived at my daughter’s place to record with the band. It was a quick 'hello' and a handshake. Nothing too exciting. I wasn't interested, all I could think about were my shows I had coming up that Wednesday and Saturday.
During the week we talked and hung out every day. He was up late a lot, and so was I most of the time. But he didn’t appear to be trying to get me naked. He played different kinds of music for me. We talked about everything under the sun. Not sex though. The conversations never went in that direction. But he always seemed glad to see me. Always had a smile. He always opted to stay and talk to me rather than go out with the guys, unless they had work to do.
Wednesday nite I saw him when I got back from the Improv. He was a little drunk – so was I, duh – and he came and hugged me and told me how cool I was. Um, ok.
Saturday nite I did a guest set in the late show at Hyena’s. It went well and I was way pumped when I got home. I was also pretty intoxicated. He was the only person awake, as it was well after 1 in the morning. Somehow we started making out and ended up in bed together. The next morning, he went with us to visit my mom. Weird.
We continued our physical relationship for the remainder of his visit. He told me how great it was to be with someone who was mature, funny, and not an idiot.
Every nite when he was leaving with the guys to go record, he would come over and hug me, somewhat awkwardly, before he left. I thought it was kinda cute, although unnecessary.
I drove him to the bus station when it was time for him to go home. We exchanged numbers, but I didn’t really think I would hear from him. When we arrived downtown, I was going to walk him in and say goodbye. But instead, I was accosted by a half-dozen or so cab drivers who were asking me about my car, so I gave him a quick hug and sent him on his way. He texted me several times that evening, which surprised me a bit. He called me the next nite after he got home, and he said he wished he’d kissed me before he left. Again, I thought that was kinda cute.
Over the next week he called me a lot. He said he missed me and hoped to see me again soon. We talked on a regular basis from then on, thru June, July, August and September. He called me a lot – sometimes drunk, sometimes sober. Sometimes he cried, telling me he didn't understand how someone like me could care about someone like him. He told me he wanted to move to Dallas.
He told me a lot of things. Things he hasn't told many, if any, others.
He called me late at nite.
He called me early in the morning.
He called when he was working. He called to tell me what bands he was working with. He called to tell me how his own shows went.
He called. A LOT.
We texted. A LOT.
I sent him pictures. He loved every one of them and asked when I'd send another.
But let's be very clear about this - HE was the one who was pursuing ME. I didn't call him very much. And I didn't always answer when he called. And I'm not sure when it became apparent to me that I was really hung up on him.
When my mom and I decided to go to Albuquerque for my birthday, I thought maybe he would react badly. But he didn't. He was happy, excited even, that I was going to be there. He called me every day for those two weeks to make sure I was still coming, to find out when I'd be there, where I was going to stay, what I wanted to do.
On the day mom and I headed out, he kept in touch with me all day to make sure we were safe and still coming. And he showed up to see me at 8:30 in the morning that Friday. I could tell he was glad to see me. He did have to work some while I was there, but he texted me constantly and called when he could.
My birthday, Saturday, my mom and I spent most of the day together. He and I didn't get to be alone until late Saturday afternoon.
And that's when it got weird.
So I can't figure out how we went from 4 months of him liking me, to him being totally shitty to me, lying about having a girlfriend (yeah, found that out last week), and not talking to me at all.
Analysis? Anyone?
June 7th – we met for the first time that Sunday, briefly, when he arrived at my daughter’s place to record with the band. It was a quick 'hello' and a handshake. Nothing too exciting. I wasn't interested, all I could think about were my shows I had coming up that Wednesday and Saturday.
During the week we talked and hung out every day. He was up late a lot, and so was I most of the time. But he didn’t appear to be trying to get me naked. He played different kinds of music for me. We talked about everything under the sun. Not sex though. The conversations never went in that direction. But he always seemed glad to see me. Always had a smile. He always opted to stay and talk to me rather than go out with the guys, unless they had work to do.
Wednesday nite I saw him when I got back from the Improv. He was a little drunk – so was I, duh – and he came and hugged me and told me how cool I was. Um, ok.
Saturday nite I did a guest set in the late show at Hyena’s. It went well and I was way pumped when I got home. I was also pretty intoxicated. He was the only person awake, as it was well after 1 in the morning. Somehow we started making out and ended up in bed together. The next morning, he went with us to visit my mom. Weird.
We continued our physical relationship for the remainder of his visit. He told me how great it was to be with someone who was mature, funny, and not an idiot.
Every nite when he was leaving with the guys to go record, he would come over and hug me, somewhat awkwardly, before he left. I thought it was kinda cute, although unnecessary.
I drove him to the bus station when it was time for him to go home. We exchanged numbers, but I didn’t really think I would hear from him. When we arrived downtown, I was going to walk him in and say goodbye. But instead, I was accosted by a half-dozen or so cab drivers who were asking me about my car, so I gave him a quick hug and sent him on his way. He texted me several times that evening, which surprised me a bit. He called me the next nite after he got home, and he said he wished he’d kissed me before he left. Again, I thought that was kinda cute.
Over the next week he called me a lot. He said he missed me and hoped to see me again soon. We talked on a regular basis from then on, thru June, July, August and September. He called me a lot – sometimes drunk, sometimes sober. Sometimes he cried, telling me he didn't understand how someone like me could care about someone like him. He told me he wanted to move to Dallas.
He told me a lot of things. Things he hasn't told many, if any, others.
He called me late at nite.
He called me early in the morning.
He called when he was working. He called to tell me what bands he was working with. He called to tell me how his own shows went.
He called. A LOT.
We texted. A LOT.
I sent him pictures. He loved every one of them and asked when I'd send another.
But let's be very clear about this - HE was the one who was pursuing ME. I didn't call him very much. And I didn't always answer when he called. And I'm not sure when it became apparent to me that I was really hung up on him.
When my mom and I decided to go to Albuquerque for my birthday, I thought maybe he would react badly. But he didn't. He was happy, excited even, that I was going to be there. He called me every day for those two weeks to make sure I was still coming, to find out when I'd be there, where I was going to stay, what I wanted to do.
On the day mom and I headed out, he kept in touch with me all day to make sure we were safe and still coming. And he showed up to see me at 8:30 in the morning that Friday. I could tell he was glad to see me. He did have to work some while I was there, but he texted me constantly and called when he could.
My birthday, Saturday, my mom and I spent most of the day together. He and I didn't get to be alone until late Saturday afternoon.
And that's when it got weird.
So I can't figure out how we went from 4 months of him liking me, to him being totally shitty to me, lying about having a girlfriend (yeah, found that out last week), and not talking to me at all.
Analysis? Anyone?
posted by Jenn at
2:01 PM
2 Comments:
Yes, He's a guy. You're a girl. As a guy he's not passing up an opportunity to have a relationship because the chances of you moving there are "NONE!" As a guy he wants his cake and eat it too. He also did not plan for it to work out this way. It just kinda did.
As a girl you are constantly being asked out so being alone is not near the threat as it is to a guy. For this reason you do not value any relationship until it's gone. When it is gone you'll only value it because it's the toy you can't have. It was probably not even a good thing, you just miss not having the option.
It's just human nature. It doesn't make us bad. Since Rene' passed away I've been experiencing this type of thing. I'm not even sure if Rene' and I would have worked out.
Yeah, he's a guy. I get that. The chances of me moving there are indeed none - well, not for him anyway. It's a beautiful place and my mom would do well there. But I digress.
I think I left out the part in my diatribe about how he wanted to move here, to be with me. How he wanted me to take care of him, blah blah blah.
And maybe you're right. Maybe I just miss the option. I do get asked out a lot, and eventually, I'll meet someone who's not a total douche. Maybe.
I think you and Rene would have been great, don't be doubting that now. I know you loved her.
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