So I married a heroin addict....
People have often asked me if that is actually true. As a comedian, I will exagerate and, well, occasionally outright lie to get a good joke. Shock value and all. I've been telling jokes about my ex-husband for years. The first, and best joke I ever wrote (in my opinion) was about the man I married when I was 19 years old, who, yes indeed, turned out to be a heroin addict.
That was a fun couple of years, lemme tell ya. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger, eh?
He recently passed away at the age of 44. In the end he was a shell of his former self, the effects of many years of drug and alcohol abuse having taken its toll on his body and mind. I attended his memorial service with my oldest daughter, his only child after 5 marriages. Sitting in that room with those people, I realized that they knew a completely different man than the one I was married to. I kept quiet for the most part as my recitations would have been completely out of place.
His friends told stories about fishing trips, barbeques and jam sessions in the garage.
I recalled times of poverty, evictions and prison.
His friends joked about crazy road trips and upset spouses.
I lamented 15 years of missing child support payments and father/daughter activities.
His friends loved him, and knew him as a talented musician and generous man.
My love for him was lost to indifference many years ago, when I couldn't understand why he didn't want to be a father to this wonderful child. The only talent I knew he had was to lie to me about what had become of his entire paycheck and his whereabouts for the previous 5 days.
And he was excellent at that. He could make up some great stories about where the money went. After a while, I just laughed, because the things he would tell me were so outlandish, and he actually thought I believed them.
So here are the only words I spoke at his service:
"David and I were only married for a short time, but those short years made me a stronger person. I can thank him for an amazing daughter, and the best joke I ever wrote."
When asked if I would share the joke, the answer was a firm No.
RIP, David. Apparently, you touched some lives in a positive way.
That was a fun couple of years, lemme tell ya. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger, eh?
He recently passed away at the age of 44. In the end he was a shell of his former self, the effects of many years of drug and alcohol abuse having taken its toll on his body and mind. I attended his memorial service with my oldest daughter, his only child after 5 marriages. Sitting in that room with those people, I realized that they knew a completely different man than the one I was married to. I kept quiet for the most part as my recitations would have been completely out of place.
His friends told stories about fishing trips, barbeques and jam sessions in the garage.
I recalled times of poverty, evictions and prison.
His friends joked about crazy road trips and upset spouses.
I lamented 15 years of missing child support payments and father/daughter activities.
His friends loved him, and knew him as a talented musician and generous man.
My love for him was lost to indifference many years ago, when I couldn't understand why he didn't want to be a father to this wonderful child. The only talent I knew he had was to lie to me about what had become of his entire paycheck and his whereabouts for the previous 5 days.
And he was excellent at that. He could make up some great stories about where the money went. After a while, I just laughed, because the things he would tell me were so outlandish, and he actually thought I believed them.
So here are the only words I spoke at his service:
"David and I were only married for a short time, but those short years made me a stronger person. I can thank him for an amazing daughter, and the best joke I ever wrote."
When asked if I would share the joke, the answer was a firm No.
RIP, David. Apparently, you touched some lives in a positive way.
posted by Jenn at
9:06 AM
4 Comments:
Wow, thanks. Some things just need to be written. I appreciate the kind words. And I'm still trying to figure out who you are, by the way!
I will email you. I worked for a women's organization for several years, so indeed I have an opinion. You'll hear from me. Thanks for reading.
Maybe he was fishing and rock-n-rollin' for those five days while you were tending to the kids?
Well, he was actually shooting smack in an abandoned house, but that's far too much reality!
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