Clarification and butterflies
Hi-dely ho, Blogorinos. Hope everyone is doing super this fine Friday morning.
So I've had a few people ask why I posted those particular lyrics in my previous entry. Am I still upset about the break up? Am I waffling on my decision to leave him? Am I 'torn' between wanting him gone and wanting him back?
The short answer to all of those questions is...no. I'm absolutely positive that I made the right decision. I know this. How can I be so certain, you may ask?
No butterflies.
OK, Jenn, what the hell does that mean?
Well, I'll tell ya. I am surrounded by things on a daily basis that remind me of him. And when I see those things, I don't get that icky feeling in the pit of my stomach, like I'm missing something. I don't feel like crying. And I don't get 'butterflies' over those things. (You ladies know what I'm talking about). Butterflies are a sign to me that I'm with the right person. And honestly, I haven't had them for a long time.
When I broke up with my last long-term boyfriend, I was so sick over it. It never felt like it was the right decision, and looking back now, it probably wasn't. Anytime I would see or hear something that reminded me of him, it would make me sad. That lasted for a long, long time. Songs I couldn't listen to, shows I couldn't watch - even the smell of his cologne on some stranger would make me burst into tears. And on the rare occasion that we would talk, the butterflies were still there. (And still are, actually.)
Yet, here we are, a mere 5 weeks after this most recent break-up, and the only signs I see are the ones telling me that this was the right thing to do. There are still things popping up that show me how dishonest he was - not just with me, but with every woman he's been involved with for the past several years. It's been eye-opening, to say the least.
So, if you read the lyrics more carefully, and analyze them just a tad, you'll see what it means: He's not who I thought he was ("Illusion never changed into something real..."), or who I wanted him to be ("You couldn't be that man I adored, you don't seem to know, seem to care what your heart if for, I don't know him anymore".....and "I should have seen what was there, and not some holy light...")
I hope that clears up any confusion. The only thing that's truly 'torn' is a bit of my pride. I'm usually a much better judge of character.
So I've had a few people ask why I posted those particular lyrics in my previous entry. Am I still upset about the break up? Am I waffling on my decision to leave him? Am I 'torn' between wanting him gone and wanting him back?
The short answer to all of those questions is...no. I'm absolutely positive that I made the right decision. I know this. How can I be so certain, you may ask?
No butterflies.
OK, Jenn, what the hell does that mean?
Well, I'll tell ya. I am surrounded by things on a daily basis that remind me of him. And when I see those things, I don't get that icky feeling in the pit of my stomach, like I'm missing something. I don't feel like crying. And I don't get 'butterflies' over those things. (You ladies know what I'm talking about). Butterflies are a sign to me that I'm with the right person. And honestly, I haven't had them for a long time.
When I broke up with my last long-term boyfriend, I was so sick over it. It never felt like it was the right decision, and looking back now, it probably wasn't. Anytime I would see or hear something that reminded me of him, it would make me sad. That lasted for a long, long time. Songs I couldn't listen to, shows I couldn't watch - even the smell of his cologne on some stranger would make me burst into tears. And on the rare occasion that we would talk, the butterflies were still there. (And still are, actually.)
Yet, here we are, a mere 5 weeks after this most recent break-up, and the only signs I see are the ones telling me that this was the right thing to do. There are still things popping up that show me how dishonest he was - not just with me, but with every woman he's been involved with for the past several years. It's been eye-opening, to say the least.
So, if you read the lyrics more carefully, and analyze them just a tad, you'll see what it means: He's not who I thought he was ("Illusion never changed into something real..."), or who I wanted him to be ("You couldn't be that man I adored, you don't seem to know, seem to care what your heart if for, I don't know him anymore".....and "I should have seen what was there, and not some holy light...")
I hope that clears up any confusion. The only thing that's truly 'torn' is a bit of my pride. I'm usually a much better judge of character.
posted by Jenn at
6:33 AM
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